Sometimes, we need to realize that no matter what our parents may want for us, they don't always know what we NEED. l'm lucky to not have to deal with the sort of thing you're dealing with, but l DO know what it's like to not seem to be able to give them precisely what they want from me, which is frustrating and emotionally debilitating no matter how mild or severe it may be. l still struggle with wanting to satisfy them in the manner they want (which, to be clear, has quite a bit to do with me getting a few of my life situations straight that are still wobbly, so they're right on point in some ways), and to prove myself to them, so l understand where you're coming from. But finally, you have to go, "Who cares what they think? What feels right for ME?", and roll with that. lt's a good question in ANY life situation, IMO, and one l need to remind myself to ask on a regular basis, but it's harder to ask and act in certain situations, especially those involving parents and siblings, or friends and lovers. lt's harder because we're emotionally invested and/or involved with them, but also because it means it might involve a conversation with that person to that very effect, where you let them know that you need to live your own life, be yourself, and that you are trusted to make the wisest decisions you can in the face of challenge. Have you had this conversation with her yet? lf not, maybe it's time to prepare yourself for that.

lf l might say so....unless you're dealing with an abusive and militant control freak for a parent - in which case this may not apply to you - l think that it's valuable to remember our parents have both the life experience and the objectivity to see those things we may not, but their comments come from a place of love and protection, even if they aren't very good at expressing that and have no control over our reactions to it. l don't know your mother, so l may be waaaay off base here and if so, my apologies, but what if this were her way of trying to let you know that she knows you're at least bi if you're not gay, and that she's okay with that and is simply trying to encourage you to be comfortable coming out? What if she's just not very good at it, and so it looks like criticism vs. the constructive and loving kind? l'm just putting out that possibility out there. lf she IS the type who would harass you instead, do you think the hell she's putting you through now is any different? She seems to suspect, she's already making you miserable, and that part may not change so the only person who can change her perceptions and overall feeling about this situation here is YOU. Might as well tell her, and do so with a finality for *you*, and with no attachment to what she thinks of that. At least you will have gotten it off your chest, and her passive aggressive methods of hinting at your bisexuality are made impossible by you confirming it. And the freedom of doing so is, truly, a priceless feeling. As they say, when life hands you lemons....