I separated from my wife one year ago, and she moved to another time zone. Before she left, I had struck up a good friendship with a woman at work. But we were just that - friends, who could talk about anything. Unlike my wife, who was 39, this woman was my age, 49. And we would talk about where we were, approaching 50. I told her I was bi and described experiences I'd had with both sexes. She was (and remains) bi-curious. She said that, if she ever had sex with another woman, she would want it to be with someone her own age, someone who would not "rip my virginity from me." I suggested a woman I know but nothing ever came of it.

And she would not have sex with me! She said that she could see the two of us having something more than a sexual relationship, and she didn't want to jeopardize it by starting something while my wife and I were yet un-divorced - very wise, don't you think? So we have remained friends: we talk, eat, skinny-dip. But we have not so much as kissed.

About two weeks ago, she had sex with a different kind of man, what I describe as a "man's man." Tough, beefy, dominant - just about the opposite of me. This, I have always known, is her type of guy physically. I had resigned myself to the thought that she and I would never have a physical relationship, and decided to just be happy for her - this WAS the first satisfying encounter she had had in over a year. So I have encouraged her to keep at it.

This, finally, brings me to my problem: she told me that, now that she has "broken the ice," she'd consider having sex with me as well. My wife and I are in the final stages of our divorce, and my friend isn't looking for anything from her dominant lover past the bedroom door. Yet I hesitate to pursue this - why?

Ask questions, and I'll answer them - my own thoughts are so confused, I can't seem to work this out on my own.