Bi F's - Do you prefer Bi Men?

Ditto Soulself!! I also find that when I end up dating "straight" women they "dont get it" and I end up being scrutinized.. it doesn't work so well for me.

<<he was perfectly happy to have me having sex with women, but that he wouldn't stand for me having sex with another man.>>

It's odd how many guys don't consider sleeping with another woman cheating. I actually had that agreement in place with more than one ex, although I don't remember ever using it. Well, except with my ex-husband, but he met me in my lesbian phase so we started out as a threesome.

I've only dated a few bi guys, but they definitely haven't been effeminate. In fact, all the crazy-edgy jumpin'-outta'-planes freaks I've dated have been bi guys.

I add to the general opinion that guys who are secure in their sexuality are just hot. Plus, they're a lot harder to offend. Ironically, I often manage to attract prudish, uptight guys, so any lack of repression is icing on my cake.

"Hmmm. Well I'd not really thought about it before, but I guess I'd have to say it's the anal that bothers me, because it's risky, because men having attraction to men doesn't bother me, I see it all the time here in LA"

Okay, then let's be clear, because again, it's risky, but any unprotected sex is. Anal isn't risky if both partners are clean - and it'd be a real disservice to the men who engage in anal sex that are - or using protection.

"lf I were dating a man who told me that he's bi, it would make me pause because I wouldn't know what to do with that information. I'm open minded and how could I say anything really without sounding like an idiot, since I'm bi? but it does bother me a bit"

Okay (and you don't sound like an idiot, okay?), what bothers you? Now that you know that protected anal is less risky, what's the real deal?

"plus I'm still working out how I feel about my bisexuality in conjunction with my faith, and I'd want the person I'm with to have the faith that I do and it's hard to find."

There are men that share your faith. But you are limited, since it seems your faith doesn't condone homosexuality. l can't remember...are you a Christian? lf so (just for clarification), what denomination?

" guess it would come down to, are we each other's primary because it would only work if there is one primary, and there is a commitment there that places you above other's needs if they are in a relationship with someone else."

You mention 'primary', which implies you are poly.....but based on other opinions, l'm not sure if you are, so again, clarification, are you? lf so, l would like to share my personal opinion that having a primary does not mean that one person's needs are more important than the other's. To me it means that an understanding has been established that one is more connected - but no less important. Just sayin. :)

"'ve always gravitated towards men that were in relationships with other women, oddly enough, because I've never wanted someone to go nuts over me in love, it scares me,"

That's a challenging thing to share, and thank you for doing so. l, for one, feel that fear.

"at some point I would want that when I'm ready, and I'd hate the rug to be pulled out from under me if he decided he preferred making the male friend their primary."

So ask him up front which he prefers, and if you have a reason to be worried. But because you are both bi, what matters is making sure he will be honest with you about his attractions. lt's not like you're not both bi, so he might very well have the same reservations, no? This boils down to honesty, not preference. Hopefully, he will understand his own fears and your situation enough to tell you where his preference lies, and how that will relate to you. :)

That would be Pan, my God, and he doesn't look like that all the time. But he sure does have EQUIPMENT.

;)

sigh.