Well, yeah true.

I think you just need to keep in mind the difference between "giving up" and "stepping back"

Point taken tho.

I'd love to forgetaboutit, but that is difficult when I see a world filled with happy, sexy couples, and/or that sexy, libidinous desire takes me over.....
There are many hot, fuckable, make-loveable men and women gracing this planet and (let's hope) my sheets.... ;-)

"Well, guess what? I haven't got over it!"

Apparently.

"You guys are normal people. You've never been diagnosed with a mental illness."

That makes you neither special nor worthy of excuse. Being "normal" doesn't mean life is easy. And l don't think you can tell anyone/everyone in this tribe they've never been diagnosed with a mental illness. l have. So please don't attempt to convince me you have it harder.

"I'd love to fuck MANY men and women. I enjoy elements of BDSM. I dream of shagging rock stars.
Trust me. I am NOT NORMAL. "

You just defined 'normal' for a good number of people.

"I've been hurt, over and over."

Again, you're preaching to the choir.

"Celibacy ain't so bad, folks! Sure, I get the hornies, don't we all? There's self-pleasuring, fantasies, and reading steamy books, yes?"

Then quit talking about how miserable it makes you.

"Sex is for normal people who don't have my kind of problems. Sex is for people who never give up. Sex is for people who never doubt themselves and their sex appeal."

What in the sam hill are you talking about???
Who do you think resides on this planet with you? You think people who are sexually active never doubt themselves or their sex appeal? Catch a clue, honey. Your problems don't make you much different, and they don't make you special. lf your mental illness is getting in the way (and l've said this many times to you before), GET HELP. WORK THROUGH IT. Take meds, and figure out what you need to do to be happy and to have a healthy sexual life.

"I just don't trust humanity to see it for themselves. People are not that perceptive, in my book. "

That's a flat cop-out. lf 'humanity' doesn't see how witty and cool you are, it's because you're not projecting that. lf your positives are hiding behind your negatives, the negatives are all anyone will see. Don't blame others for your refusal to let yourself out.

"And folks, I just ain't normal enough or "together" enough to do that."

Then if that's what you choose to believe, that will be the truth.

"Ali, you can't fix me. I don't believe you want to. You're healthier than that, girl!"

You're right. l don't. l don't want to, l'm not trying to, and even if l were, l can't. But l'm starting to suspect this is a shpiel you throw out there every time you're just wanting someone to tell you what you want to hear, and that clearly isn't working. Then again, nothing is. You are committed to the rut you're in, and as long as that is the case, you will remain there.

"It's me that's got to fix my broken, magnificent old self.
Nobody else can make me happy. 'Cept me."

Then why aren't you?

"Places I couldn't bring myself to go to, because they were painful reminders of all the sex I don't get and the kind of person I will never be.... normal, confident, and just as good as all of you who have money, cars, education, sex lives, and jobs...."

Oh, cry me a river. l've got minimal college education, no car, no fucking money (and l mean none; right now l have two dollars to my name), a pathetic sex life, and my job only barely covers my bills. ls that my problem? Yeah, it is. l got myself here, and because l want something different with my life, l'm putting myself out there in different social environments to attract what l need, l'm addressing my personal and emotional issues, and l'm working on getting as many jobs as necessary in order to make the money l need. This "l'm so much less and you'll always be so much better" guilt trip doesn't work when you're addressing people who may not be much better off than you.

"'Cause I'm nobody. I just do Lightwork. And write, and do art. We all know how America is about artists, writers, and lightworkers. I'm a "behind the scenes" kinda girl."

lf you continue to see yourself that way, then sure.

"If history remembers me after I die, I will be VERY surprised! I don't feel worthy of recognition."

You know what? l'll remember you as the woman who had the power to take control of her life, and didn't. l'd rather remember you as one who did. But that's up to you.

.



What *IS* normal?



does a lack of diagnosis make me normal?



in one way or another *EVERYONE* posting here is trying to reach you.
to tell you that *normal* is not real.


are you your diagnosis... or is your diagnosis you?


you HAVE a choice.
even when we feel we don't...
we CAN be more.







.

I rarely visit the sex tribes these days. That's because I hear people telling me to "quit whining". I also don't spend as much time online because I'm busy getting myself a life.
That said, it's all too easy for me to forget that other people might have problems similar to mine. Especially when I rarely socialize and haven't yet found a job, a car, or people to date and love.
I forgive myself for all the time I spent in self-denial and negativity. I'm willing to examine my failures, for the sole purpose of learning from them.

I won't spend time in here telling you guys about all the stuff I am doing to address my issues. I'll let the results speak for themselves. If you are that interested in me and my life, then you can ask. ;-) If not, God bless you.

And yes, I tend to see Lack of a Mental Health Diagnosis as "Normal". I have some anger and resentment at "normal" people. Perhaps if I let myself become more like them (or at least find a paid job, get reliable transportation--a car--and find a special somebody or two to date), there won't be any room for resentment or excess regrets.

I just had to become sufficiently sick and tired of the same old stuckness, to find the willingness and ability to move beyond it. This hasn't been an overnight process. It's taken me years of hard work.

Ali, I had no idea your life was this tough. As stated before, I rarely visit these Sex Tribes. I got tired of hearing about everybody else's (supposedly) magnificent (read: sluttier-than-thou) sex life.

One saying in Recovery groups: "don't compare your insides to other people's outsides"