I figure there might be some guys here that are interested in the new tribe.
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Seattle
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Re: New Tribe: Queers Serving Straight Men
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 10:22 AMlf the queers are serving straight men, does that make them "straight" men.....?
Sorry, just seems to be the obvious next question....
Ali the quizzical -
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Re: New Tribe: Queers Serving Straight Men
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 10:24 AMYeah, the guys who like to have sex with men and still think they're straight sort of make me quirk a brow.
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Re: New Tribe: Queers Serving Straight Men
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 10:29 AM
my order:
Hamburger, fries and a shake.
...waiting for service... -
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Re: New Tribe: Queers Serving Straight Men
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 11:27 AM<lol>, Tom!
I do sometimes serve a straight man dinner, does that count <g>? -
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Re: New Tribe: Queers Serving Straight Men
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 12:18 PMisn't that a river in Egypt........seriously! -
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Re: New Tribe: Queers Serving Straight Men
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 12:54 PMThat was threaded under me...am *I* in denial? Am I in denial about being in denial? -
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can I get some service?
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 2:16 PM
I read an article recently...
about there being various reasons who have sex with other men consider themselves "straight" or at least not gay/bi.
if I remember there were like seven catagories...
wish I could remember where I read the article...
If I remember right, the findings of this study of self-identified "straight" men who had same-sex sexual encounters occasionally to fequently... gave as reasons they didn't consider themselves gay were:
Gay for pay (m4m sex workers), oral sex (bill clinton helped this one along maybe...?), nonreciprocating tops, sex in prison/military, experimentation... etc
there was a great cultural anomaly... Black and latin/hispanic men most frequently had sex with men while maintaining their "straightness"
I think the findings are intriguing.
Personally, I embrace ever greater "flexibility" in our own "self-identified sexual labels"
In my own journey of sexual discovery/identity exploration I would have wished that there were more descriptions than just Gay and Straight and Bi.
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Re: can I get some service?
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 2:49 PMThe only one of those I would accept would be experimenting. If you are curious and try something out and find you don't like it, you can still be straight. All the other ones I think make you at least a little bi.
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Re: New Tribe: Queers Serving Straight Men
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 3:19 PMhehe no I just meant the topic, in general...
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A concept as old as the hills: "trade."
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 2:54 PMGuys who maintain their heterosexual privilige by only receiving pleasure from other men and who are closeted about it. It appears to be on something of an upswing for some reason.
There's long been an sense among gay men that guys like this are really gay; certainly there's a resentment of their status as closeted and their failure to support equal rights for out gay men. This leads to a labelling of every man who has gay sex as gay. Certainly that is how mainstream heterosexual society sees it. It's not right, of course, but then neither is hipocrisy.
An anecdote I love illustrates this issue. There's a movie titled "Shooting Porn," which is about the gay porno biz. The issue of actors who are gay for pay while identifying as straight is explored. A bunch of the gay actors are dissing this GFP man, and the director asks them, "Would you do straight porn?" They all said yes. "Would that make you straight, then?"
While a big part of my sexuality is pleasuring my partner(s), I am not interested in playing with people who are not interested in it being mutual. It's OK if that isn't what actually happens, but I get very squicked when they say they're not into it. -
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Re: A concept as old as the hills: "trade."
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 2:58 PMI forgot about the whole porn thing. I watched a show about that too, and how most of them have to take Viagra or other things in order to be able to do it. -
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That undermines the article's credibility.
Mon, January 14, 2008 - 3:45 AMThere are ED drugs that create an erection. They all predate Viagra. Many men find that their partners (wives) don't like that, because it dispels the feeling that the hard-on is due to the partner's desirability. If a man uses the drug, he gets hard.
Viagra (and similar drugs) don't cause an erection. They make erections possible, but a man has to be aroused for it to happen. This seems more "natural."
If you see the ads for any of these drugs, you'll notice a prominent warning about priapism, defined as a boner lasting more than four hours. It's a risk with all of these, but is particularly serious with the older drugs.
The fact is that if a guy is naturally disinclined toward sex with men, Viagra won't make him hard. Of course, a dick doesn't know or care who's sucking it.
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getting "serviced"
Tue, January 8, 2008 - 3:42 PM
> I am not interested in playing with people who are not interested in it being mutual <
I agree... but it is intriguing to me sociologically... that there are the "servers"... those that get their sexual gratification (at least in part) by being objectified. It is behavior that is pretty well spelled out in (practically) every porn ever.
great story too... ("Shooting Porn")
Personally I love it when our sacred cow assumptions are questioned and held up to the light.
we don't live in a black and white world... and bisexuality (et al) is one definition of gray that until recently was even questioned...
there are STILL people who believe the statement:
"there is no such thing as bisexuality - only gay people who want to put on a more socially acceptable face"
I think that is why it is so hard for me to hear black and white statements about another persons sexuality.
To me it is more a question of live and let live...
If a man enjoys sex with another man on occasion and chooses not to self-identify as Gay or Bisexual because he feels the terms by definition limit his sexual/loving/sensual expression then who am I to question him?
ok, so... I still do question him, because I am curious and want to know more, to understand... but not because I am interested in button-holing him.
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Re: New Tribe: Queers Serving Straight Men
Sat, January 12, 2008 - 2:34 PMFrom what I've seen of this tribe this is a tribe about BDSM and service oriented BDSM/body worship, and not the idea of having vanilla sex or doing erotic BDSM with closeted "straight" men.
Apparently it's more of a fantasy just like those "gay" for pay sites where they say that the men having sex together are really heterosexual and how it's really their first time EVER having sex with a guy!
I have Bi/gay male friends who do fantasize about having sex with real hetero men but they know that it's just a fantasy and that it won't ever really happen, and in some cases it can just be the fantasy of doing a consensual BDSM interrogation scene (i.e. good cop tied up, criminal/kidnapper doing the consensual interrogation) with a hetero guy where it's not erotic and no sex is involved.
